As of July 17, 2016, we’ve spent 365 days being married AF.
Here are 17 things that I learned from Year One.
1. Things will go wrong, so start laughing now.
2. Nobody’s perfect, and that’s great.
3. You can almost die on your honeymoon and still have lots of fun.
4. The past is just a waste of the present.
5. There is such a thing as too many popsicles. 15 is not a snack.
6. Love uncovers weakness like a black light at a crime scene.
7. The opposite of a deal breaker is acceptance; choose that.
8. “Just kidding” are two very important words that live between ‘haha’ and the sofa.
9. Never do the sofa thing. It’s dumb.
10. Marriage has taught me that life isn’t fair.
Exhibit A: Works out never, maintains six pack.
Exhibit B: Works out always, maintains muffin top.
11. We all learn things the hard way.
12. Trust in what you don’t know.
13. When in doubt, you’re probably wrong.
14. There is no such thing as ‘happily ever after.’
…That’s just something creepers say, to get you in their van.
15. Weddings don’t matter, marriage does.
16. Money doesn’t matter, time does.
17. Fear doesn’t matter when love matters more.
Marriage is 90% fantastic.
The gods dish out that 10% just so we don’t get bored.
Happy Anniversary to my main Mitch.
I told you I’d embarrass you.